You work out of a Hotel?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
