The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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