What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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