Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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