SEEEEXXX PLEASE
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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