yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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