ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
