i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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