What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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