can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
