I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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