Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
