Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize