I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
