Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
