So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
