I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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