Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
