Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
