sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
