weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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