i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
