Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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