even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize