Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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