God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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