Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
