Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
