We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
