So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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