capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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