Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
