I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
