allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
