I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
