I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
