paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
