i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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