Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You've changed since you got that strap on
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
