i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize