Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
