you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
His nipple licking is glorious
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