Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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