You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize