why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
