are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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