Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
