She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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