Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
