Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
