the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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