Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
