You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
