The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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