OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she looked like the before picture.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
