The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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