i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
