I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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