Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize