Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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