my vag is so smooth its legendary
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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