should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
