if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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