why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well you can't waste a boner
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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