I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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