i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
