Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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