sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
COCAINE IS GR8
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