i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
