I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
