therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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