His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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