I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
