I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize