im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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