I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
