apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize